Here's a new contest: Come up with a better slogan for those yellow-ribbon bumper stickers that say "Support Our Troops." People who display them usually fit the following profile:
- They support an Administration that sends our troops to war without a clearly-articulated mission.
- They're often driving a large, gas-guzzling car that helps fuel the demand for oil - a demand that will insure the loss of future soldiers.
- The Administration they support sends those troops into battle without sufficient body armor. Cher - Cher! - has to provide them with the helmets they need!
- They, and the party they support, are insensitive to the soul-killing nature of the mission our troops are being given - occupying a nation of people who don't want us there. Men, women, and yes - children must be seen as potential threats.
- Those troops they claim to "support" are coming home to a country where their physicial and emotional wounds won't get the treatment they deserve, so that the rightwingers can save more money that they take home in tax cuts - or -
- Those troops are coming home in flag-draped coffins that are hidden from the public's eye, as if they were secret money drops from Jack Abramoff rather than America's fallen heroes.
So here's the deal: Write a better one. Here's my attempt
"My country went to Iraq and all I got was this lousy yellow ribbon, a huge bill for my children to pay, and the memory of our brave fallen."
Nah. Too long. It'll never fit.
You can do better. Put your suggestions in the "comments" to this post. The best five entries will receive a free copy of "Chasing Ghosts," the brilliant book by my buddy Paul Rieckhoff. It'll set you straight about what's really going on over there.
And if you really support our troops, help them.
If you lay the ribbon sticker on its side, it looks a lot like a Jesus fish, perfectly suited for a slogan like "Crusaders for Bush!"
Posted by: Micah Jensen | July 19, 2006 at 09:54 AM
how about telling it like it is. "I Support Our Troops....from here....by buying this sticker....which was probably made overseas"
Posted by: tony newman | July 19, 2006 at 10:35 AM
Support our mercenaries!
Posted by: DeeLuzon | July 19, 2006 at 10:41 AM
Troops ! We're behind you.
Posted by: Barry Workman | July 19, 2006 at 10:48 AM
My attempts (really want that book, hope multiple entries are OK):
"Support our Troops: Impeach Bush."
"Support our Troops: They need all the help they can get."
"Support our Troops: It's not their fault we were so so so so so wrong."
"Support our Troops: Elect a Democrat."
"Support our Troops: They currently need Body Armor, Bullets, Leadership, and another Arab country to invade."
"Support our Troops: Start telling lies about another country so we can drag it into the sewer"
Posted by: Bill | July 19, 2006 at 10:56 AM
HAMELIA PATENS
Posted by: Gary Linz | July 19, 2006 at 11:02 AM
Support our Troops: Because the dollar I paid for this ribbon goes to China where it was made!
Posted by: Thomas Greeley | July 19, 2006 at 11:03 AM
Or "Support Our Troops: Draft Barbara and Jenna"
Posted by: Micah Jensen | July 19, 2006 at 11:07 AM
Support Haliburton, Exxon and senseless profiteering.
Posted by: Brian Henrie | July 19, 2006 at 01:12 PM
This only works for those drivers of monster SUVs. A Black ribbon over gas tank hatch saying "Fund Our Enemies"
As someone who has been to the box, every time I see one of those damn yellow ribbons on an SUV, I want to tell that person to go f&%k themselves.
Posted by: Andrew Hall | July 19, 2006 at 02:43 PM
For my entry, I suggest:
Follow the Yellow Brick Road ... Home.
Thanks.
Posted by: Linnea Caldeen | July 19, 2006 at 03:13 PM
Straight to the point: Support My Habit
Posted by: Gary Linz | July 19, 2006 at 07:48 PM
Support our troops: they work hard so I don't have to
Posted by: Bonnie French | July 20, 2006 at 08:02 AM
Support the Troops. Don't $tick Them with the Bill.
Posted by: Con Roche | July 20, 2006 at 08:09 AM
Support Not Sacrifice
Posted by: Jill C Hayden | July 20, 2006 at 09:10 AM
Support Our Troops: Do More Than Buy A Sticker
Posted by: Dawna | July 20, 2006 at 10:04 AM
Or Support My Addiction
Posted by: Gary Linz | July 20, 2006 at 04:48 PM
Support Our Troops: Bring Them Home Now
or
Support Our Troops So I Can Get A Bigger SUV
or
Death & Destruction Are Not Career Goals for Young Men & Women
Posted by: Robert | July 20, 2006 at 05:44 PM
It's good to kill people who don't speak English!!
So, SUPPORT OUR TROOPS, EVEN IF DOING SO KILLS THEM AS WELL!
Posted by: gary | July 21, 2006 at 03:19 PM
America thrives when it embraces Jihad... here's to Amerihad!!
ok, a second rate effort from Gary!!
Posted by: gary | July 21, 2006 at 04:25 PM
Possibly the best I have:
Dick Cheney blows!
Posted by: gary | July 21, 2006 at 04:26 PM
The Bush The Shrub and The Holy Terror
(A little Scotch goes a looong way)
Bush on top, the shrub on the right and the holy terror (Dickie, of course) on the left.
Still stretching that Scotch
I'm a Libertarian: I got mine, screw the rest of y'all
Posted by: Gary Linz | July 21, 2006 at 05:29 PM
Support Our ... oops
.................. Tr
Posted by: steve marvin | July 21, 2006 at 08:36 PM
I think the ribbons have themselves become Support Futility Vehicles.
Posted by: steve marvin | July 21, 2006 at 08:44 PM
Support Our Dupes
Posted by: steve marvin | July 21, 2006 at 09:32 PM