So the House Republicans are bragging about their opposition to the stimulus bill ... with a video that uses Aerosmith's "Back in the Saddle"? And they're bragging about ... doing nothing? America deserves a better opposition party than that, and the opposition party deserves a more appropriate theme song.
The role of the opposition is to present different ideas, propose alternatives, challenge the party in power to think differently. You know - all that civic stuff. Instead we get a song selection that's as poorly thought out as the party's platform. I mean, have they even listened to "Back in the Saddle"? One of its more printable lines is "four bits gets you time in the racks." That's right. Eric Cantor, the man who took Tom DeLay's old job, has just chosen for his battle cry a tune about prostitution in the Wild West.
Is this a theme song or a cry for help?
We, like the American people, are charitable and generous by nature. We therefore assume that any overtones of irony are unintentional. So, in the bipartisan spirit of the times, let's help the online community come up with a better song choice for the Republicans in Congress. (And, no ... it wouldn't be very bipartisan to suggest "Fool On the Hill.")
If the GOP wants to stay within the Aerosmith oeuvre, may we suggest "Love In An Elevator?" That's the one whose chorus summarizes our last eight years of governance: "Livin' it up while we're going dooown ..."
Or how about "Tell Her No"? Here's the chorus to that sixties nugget:
No no no no no no no no
no no no no no no no no no
no no no no no no
The word "no" is repeated 23 times. Seems appropriate, doesn't it? What's more, the group that performed it is "The Zombies," which brings to mind that persistent (though disproved) "zombie lie" that the stimulus bill will "dictate how health care is provided" (a topic we'll return to in a more serious moment).
Meanwhile, the GOP and its media enablers insist that its far-right views represent "the center," despite polls that have consistently disproved that. So there's always "Stuck in the Middle With You," I guess. (The group's name was "Stealer's Wheel," but we don't have to draw any conclusions from that.)
Then there's that Joan Jett song, the one that says "I don't give a damn about my bad reputation." Maybe you've heard it:
The world's in trouble
Theres no communication
An everyone can say
What they want to say
It never gets better anyway
So why should I care ...
Personally, I'd go with the Joan Jett. It has just the right combination of self-mythification, cynicism, and what used to be called enlightened self-interest. (And its crunching guitars will please those Republicans who want you to know that underneath that pinstripe-clad exterior they were born to rock you.)
But here's what I worry about: What if the Republican Party figures our that it might actually stage a comeback by becoming the party of populism? Yesterday we saw Republican Senator Lindsey Graham state the near-obvious - that nationalizing banks should "not be off the table" - while Democrat Chuck Schumer said he'd be against it. Sen. Graham was doing what someone in the opposition party should do: say things that it's difficult for the party in power in express. And Sen. Schumer was running the risk of being outmaneuvered to the left on the subject of a very unpopular bailout.
Eric Cantor's Aerosmith gambit is nearly as clueless a move as all those "parody songs" the would-be party leaders were playing a few weeks ago. But if the day ever comes when the Republicans stop playing "Back in the Saddle" and start playing "Working Class Hero," the Democrats may find themselves facing the music.
(UPDATE: We've gotten some great suggestions in the Comments section of the Huffington Post, where this is cross-posted.)
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(You can help the GOP by voting in this online poll. Norm Coleman's attorneys are standing by to tabulate the results.)
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