Night Light

they stab it with their steely knives but they just can't kill the beast

Even though I have vanquished them, they refuse to acknowledge their defeat.  And yet, we must move on.

A quick story, then: We went to see "A Scanner Darkly" (recommended) at a very upscale Beverly Hills mall last night. The Food Court was haunted by a twee seraiph with a guitar and a beat box, who was singing classic AOR (album-oriented rock) of the 60's and 70's.

He sang the song with which I'm about to end this once and for all. Then, he started playing the intro to another while saying: "And now, ladies and gentleman, here's one of the finest songs Lindsay Buckingham ever wrote."

My point?  This was God's way of anointing me the victor. We now resume our regularly scheduled programming.

attention people of earth (or current occupant)

Due to the refusal of some earthlings to acknowledge the inferiority of your species, the following weapon will reduce your planet to a burnt cinder by 1:00 PM EST tomorrow (Sunday).

If you believe you have received this notice in error, please feel free to contact our Customer Service Department. The department’s hours are 9-5 EST, Mondays through Fridays.

 

earthlings: pets or meat?

You earth creatures will be unsatisfactory beasts of burden, and will therefore merit complete annihilation,  if you do not stop annoying me with your pitiful attempts at self defense.

First I scatter the seeds of laser-eyed dragons to germinate in your loins:

Then come the Winds of Attar, flattening your mountains and flooding your fertile crescents:

Then it becomes my dubious distinction to possess you all:

Now surrender as you inevitably must, and stop distracting my servo-consciousness.

war is too important to be left to the vj's

               

Atrios and Sadly, No! are engaged in a battle of annoying video clips.  Morbo say:  pathetic.  The earth female called "Amanda" is no better.  (Interesting name - is she from the Amandrea Cluster?)  The one named Tas shows promise with his daring maneuver, but that unit shall fall as well.

While these two factions of puny earthlings engage in their pitiful struggle, I will bring the entire planet to its knees. Behold my dazzling display of photon power, bathing your planet across the spectrum of all frequencies (some of which are not even known to your earth scientists).

Now the attack commences -

First, the phasers take out your communications apparatus:



Then the ultrawave cannons pulverize your cities:



Finally, we crush the assembled military might of humanity with an asteroid-sized swarm of nanobots, which quickly disperses to reduce all metal on the planet to a gray goo:



Your tiny orb is now mine.

Ahhh ... I've done this for millions of your earth years, and yet I still feel the glow of conquest just as much as I did when I was an aphid crushing my first star system in the Beta sector.